How you all doing? Rule of Thumb:
If a real friend asks you that, you don't have to say, "Just
fine, thanks!". You can be honest and say, "I feel like
I fell out of a horse's butt, thank you" and they'll understand.
Hi to all the new people! Question
that wakes me up in the middle of the night this week: Why is
it when it the days start getting longer in the spring, and it
stays lighter out at night in the summer it seems to take sooooo
long to get there, but in the fall when it gets dark earlier it
seems to happen so fast? There's nothing like sitting around doing
something and realizing you're so tired you can't keep your eyes
open and man! What a long day it was! You figure it's got to be
at least 10 PM but when you look at the clock, it's 7:10 PM and
pitch black out already. And don't get me started on how moronic
Daylight Saving Time is.
The site was two years old in September!
I'm enjoying the hell out of it. Except for going back to look
at the older parts of the site and seeing that not only did my
$10 Web Page Maker suck (but I miss it), but apparently so did
my $50 monitor. It seems a lot of the photos have a lovely green
patina tinge to them, or powder blue.. Consider it "artsy"
until I get it fixed. Total unique hits to the site in the last
year: 10.2 million (Thank You Mike Jackson for those TV specials.
I had 4 million hits in 3 days, which sent my web host into apoplexy).
Total donations so far this year: $57.50 (thank you thank you!).
(Total donations to whatever "Help Me Pay My Bills, I'm A
Stupid Bimbo" site that's popular this month: $14,955). Total
EMails from my web host provider telling me I can't use 72 GIG
of traffic in one week and "What The Hell Kind of Nefarious
Code Am I Running Your Package Comes With 35 GB a Month and That's
Plenty, Missy, Businesses Don't Even Use That So Fork Over
Some More Money For This Bandwidth!" letters: 4. Letters
threatening to sue me for... whatever: 4. Death threats: 1. Ranting
hate mail: 32. Incredibly nice mail: thousands. Thanks for all
and thanks for your company.
Jim Wilson, who is the mayor of Point Pleasant, West
Virginia, wasn't quite sure the famous Mothman legend would do
much for tourism in his town. The story goes that in November,
1966 many people of the town reported seeing a 7-foot tall, red-eyed,
winged entity that caused all manner of upset and creepiness.
The being hung around terrifying the hell out of everyone and
making predictions which came true until Dec.1967, when a local
bridge collapsed, killing 45 people.
A silly movie starring Richard Gere
- who I'm sorry - looks like a gerbil - was made of it
(The Mothman Prophecies) and gave the legend a new shot of life.
After seeing a steady stream of the curious wanting to see the
place the Otherworldy Mothman hung out, Wilson changed his mind
about it being and outdated spooky story. The town held an annual
Mothman Festival this year and erected a life-sized statue of
Mothman on a downtown street.
"I don't care why they're coming,
as long as they are," Wilson said. "If they want Mothman,
then we'll give them Mothman."
A mammal thought to be extinct has been found alive
and well in Cuba. Called the Almiqui, the 19 inch, 24 ounce critter
looks like a small anteater and does in fact eat insects and worms.
The animal is nocturnal, burrowing underground during the day
and that's why it's thought no one has seen the thing. The animal
was described in 1861 and only 37 Almiqui have been seen, including
BIG EARS, BIG
The ears of Mr. Jeffries
the Bassett Hound have made the Guiness Book of World Records
as the largest dog ears in the world. They measure in at 11.5
inches 29.2cm) and are insured for $47,800.(30,000 pounds). Mr.
Jeffries is the granddog of Biggles, the Hush Puppies Shoe spokesdog
and lives in West Sussex, England with his owner, who is also
a Mr. Jerrfries but has normal sized people ears.
MEN! A NEW EXCUSE
TO STARE AT WOMEN'S BREASTS WHEN YOU TALK TO THEM
A new type of electronic
paper has been developed by Philips Research, Netherlands which
can show moving pictures or designs . By using low voltage charges
that will scatter a thin layer of oil and water layer imbedded
in the material, the paper can rapidly switch images and is being
considered for clothing that can be worn as art or advertising
Researchers Robert Hayes and BJ Feenstra wrote, "The pictures
are four times brighter than reflective liquid-crystal displays
and twice as bright as other emerging technologies. The system
works at low voltages, making it usable in a wide range of electro-optic
devices. We may yet see wearable cinematic suits."
Scientists at Cuza University in Romania have electrically
charged Gas Blobs that behave as if they are alive. The plasma
"cells" grow, replicate and communicate with each other,
which is pretty much what biological cells do.
Most "experts" think living
cells arose out of a complicated evolution of chemicals that took
millions of years. But these guys created "life" by
putting two electrodes into a chamber containing a low-temperature
plasma of argon. A voltage high enough to simulate lightning created
an arc of energy that flew across the gap between the electrodes.
The Gas Blobs, which ranged in size from micrometers to three
centimeters, formed spontaneously at the positively charged electrode.
The spheres replicated by splitting into two, could increase in
size by taking up neutral argon atoms and splitting them into
ions and electrons and communicated by emitting electromagnetic
energy, making the atoms within other spheres vibrate at a particular
frequency. The scientists say this ought to change a few ideas
about how life began on Earth. And I have no idea what I just
MOLLUSKS ATTACK STUPID PEOPLE
Hundreds of huge
mollusks have begun appearing at Billings Dam in Sao Paulo, Brazil
and so far no one has any idea what they are or where they came
from. They weigh about a pound (half a kilo) each and authorities
have been horrified to find out that locals are eating the things.
However, Joana da Silva, who lives near the dam, said: "They
taste like chicken, it is really good."
Perhaps this is an alien invasion, and the jokes on them!
It must suck right now to be a
race of Clam-like looking beings. Since none of us speak Mollusk,
I guess all the technology
they wanted to impart to us will be lost.
A piece of amber discovered in Lebanon contains the
oldest known piece of spider silk which has been dated at 130
million years. The strand is 4mm long and is 90 million years
older than the thread that previously held the record for the
oldest preserved silk
NYET ON EURO SEX
The Moscow Committee for Advertising and Information
has banned an ad that shows the Euro sign having sex with the
US dollar sign, saying it was "obscene". I'm guessing
because it shows full frontal nudity? Over 100 posters of this
shocking display had to be torn down overnight after a letter
was issued to the News Outdoor company. Magazine publisher Igor
Maltsev said he had no idea the posters depicted anything inappropriate,
saying, "I thought the currencies were dancing on our poster".
OTHER WHITE MEAT
Sophie Matlala, 60, of South Africa sat down for
her lunch break in the cafeteria of the hospital she works in
to enjoy a bowl of goulash. Ms. Matlala said she took a couple
of bites before "tackling the meat". The "meat"
was slippery and she could not cut it with a knife, so she took
it in her hand and placed it in her mouth. Even with this effort,
the "meat" was so tough she couldn't bite through it.
She then (you see where this is going..right?) took the
meat out of her mouth and inspected it with her fellow co-workers,
who all concluded that it was a penis. Because it had been cooked,
they didn't know if it was human or an animal. (I'd like to stop
at this point to ask what the hell is going on over there that
they knew it was a penis. My friends wouldn't know what oh, a
wombat or a rat penis looked like as compared to a human penis).
The discovery of the Goulash Genitalia
was so traumatic for her that Sophie vomited for the rest of the
afternoon and had to receive psychiatric help. She also added
that she became a vegetarian overnight. Ms. Matlala tried to sue
the hospital, saying they had a responsibility to their staff
to serve penis-free lunches. Since the incident happened in 1999,
the Pretoria High Court recently ruled that Ms. Matlala could
no longer sue as she chewed the matter over too long and the statue
of limitations ran out.
I was thinking that if this happened
in Chicago, the woman would have taken it
out of her bowl, said, "Well this will teach him to keep
his pants zipped" and
tossed it away. Perhaps we're too jaded here in the Big City?
Japan's Kamato Hongo, the oldest person in the world,
turned 116 in September. Mrs. Hongo says her secret is "Not
moping around" and possibly the peculiar habit of sleeping
2 days, then remaining awake 2 days.
I NEED ANOTHER HOLE IN THE HEAD...
Ron Hunt is one anomalous guy.
While working on his construction
job in California, he fell off a ladder and as is the usual safety
procedure, threw the drill he was working to the side. However,
he fell head first onto the 18" drill he had been working
with, skewering it through his skull. The drill bit went through
his eye and out the back of his skull, pushing his brain aside
and making Ron have a rather bad day. X-rays and the rest of the
story in Odd PIcs 3
A new world record has been set by Jim Hager, 47,
of Oakland, California. Jim ate 115 M & M Candies, using chopsticks,
in 3 minutes. I knew you'd want to know that.
It's long been said that the humble flea held the
insect record for the longest jump, going by body length-to-jump
distance ratio. That record now belongs to the 6mm long Froghopper,
AKA the Spittlebug. The reason for this name is because they sit
on leaves and create a camouflage cover that, well, looks like
a big, gooey, frothy white hocker known as Cuckoo Spit. (Hey,
don't "ew" me...I'm just reporting here).
Professor Malcolm Burrows, who heads
the zoology departmental at Cambridge University, said the secret
of the magnificent jump lies in the insect's back legs which act
like a "catapult", creating an explosive burst equal
to about 13 feet (4,000 meters) per second per second. In Normal
Person-Speak, that means the 6mm bug can jump about 28 feet (8.53
Marcelo Torres, 22, was
riding the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad when the roller coaster
derailed inside a tunnel as it was climbing a steep grade. An
"unknown, blunt object" caused "blunt force trauma"
to his chest and fractured his ribs, leading to laceration of
his lungs. Marcelo bled to death before help could arrive. Ten
other passengers were injured.
GOOD AT THE TIME..
The West Japan Railway Company was having a problem
with wild deer who would hang around the tracks, smoking and drinking,
acting like morons and then would get creamed by trains as they
stupidly wandered into tracks after saying, "Hold my beer
and watch this!" (I want to talk to the guy who had to scrape
deer off the front of the trains...). Authorities decided that
they could use the deer's natural fear of lions (there many lions
in Japan?) to scare them off and Lion Poop would do the job. A
safari park supplied the dung, which was mixed with water and
spread along a 1,320 ft. (402.3 m) stretch of track late last
year (no, I want to talk to the guys who had to do that...).
It worked like a charm. Not one deer
was hit but HOOOOO BOY did it stink. More than you could personally
imagine. It was then decided this wasn't going to work out after
all. Next idea: it's said deer have an aversion to the color white
so sheets of white polystyrene will be draped along the tracks.
NEW ON THE
ODD PICS PAGE
3 - We're cooking now - a third page has been added to the
collection so your load time isn't too long. Woohoo! Naughty Beans
from Kellee ... Stupid Pet Tricks ... More! Wet! Pussy! ... Lions
lyin' Around . . . A Whole Iceberg from Neil .. Rock SImulacra
from Joey ... Space Shuttle Sonic Boom from someone whose name
I lost ...one from The Stupid Files ...Terrorists Among The AMish
...CNN Banishes Countries Off the Earth ...Euro-Dollar Sex ...
Ron Hunt's Holes In The Head ...What Lies Beneath from Chris ...
DEATH - A
Barbecued Dead Guy ... When Terrorists Lose Their Heads from Razzell
. .. Charming India Thug Art
Ball Lightning Photo
- Nushu, the Chinese Women's Secret Code
GHOSTS - World
War 1 Phantom
- more, of course ...
GUEST MAP ARCHIVES
- more archiveded :)
I am going to put
an "update" button on the front page and list things
as I add them instead of waiting until I send out a newsletter
to put it all up. That way I won't sit on stuff for 2 months when
it's ready to go because I don't have time to do a newsletter.
I'm also trying to redesign the front page so the whiners on Netscape
who can't see layers well will stop whining. Did I say that out
I'm still wading
thru mail. Honest!
for being here!
I'm trying like hell not to put obnoxious
ads on the site and insult both our intelligence. However, that's
they way most generate $ to pay for the domain and expenses. If
you'd like to support the site and help keep me supplied in coffee
and help pay for the monster this site has turned into you can
donate whatever you'd like through Amazon safely:
http://www.amazon.com/paypage/P27EJ6Z3ODKENH (They take 15%
but I can't bitch)
I have also put some books up on the site that I have used or
read in making the site. If you click a link and buy it, or buy
anything on Amazon but got there by clicking through the site,
I get a tiny %. Every bit helps (and thank you! :)