STILL SAYS NUH UH, WE DON'T HAVE THIS TECHNOLOGY...
Russian President Vladimir Putin
said he can promise sunshine for any St. Petersburg's
300th birthday celebration by ordering the
Russian air force to spray chemicals on rain
clouds. Ten planes will be kept ready for
action in case it looks like rain and according
to the Defence Ministry in Moscow they will
be dispatched to spray "undisclosed chemicals"
on the clouds to trigger the rain outside
the city limits.
THIN ELECTRONIC SCREEN WILL LET AOL HARASS
US EVEN MORE
Yu Chen and colleagues at the
E-Ink Corporation in Cambridge, Massachusetts
announced the discovery of a super thin material
that is as thick as three human hairs. Using
electronic charges, it can be used to display
electronic text like a newspaper. Read about
it in "Science"
STUDY MORE STUPID BULLSHIT
Scientists at Edinburgh University
and the Roslin Institute say they now have
proof that fish can feel pain after a study
done on rainbow trout showed that when bees
were allowed to sting the lips of the fish,
the fish rocked back and forth as if in pain.
The study says
this shows the first evidence indicating fish
pain by demonstrating they have nervous system
receptors, or "polymodal nociceptors",
in the head that respond to damaging stimuli.
"Anomalous behaviors were exhibited by
trout subjected to bee venom and acetic acid,"
says Dr. Lynne Sneddon, who led the fun torturing
the fish to see if they'd mind much.
She added: "Our research demonstrates
nociception and suggests that noxious stimulation
in the rainbow trout has adverse behavioral
and physiological effects. This fulfills the
criteria for animal pain." You tell 'em
The story goes on to say "It will increase
animal rights activists' calls for Britain's
3.8 million anglers to stop their "cruel"
Well this is news to me. I had no idea
the Brits had a sport of making bees
sting fish lips. (Say that three times fast..)
I mean, here in the States we just outright
fish, with the bait and all? Where
does one buy the bees? Are there special Fish
Bees? How do you train them?
I've never seen it featured onDISCOVERY or
BBC but then again if I even so much
as pass by a golfing channel or regular fishing
show, I immediately fall into
a deep coma of boredom, so perhaps I've just
ALSO DISCOVER FLIES CAN FLY
Scientists in Switzerland
have finally confirmed that flies can actually
fly, which was damn nice of them to let us
know, I think. Before this, scientists mused
that flies technically "swam" in
the air. Why, you ask? Don't. I'm still amazed
they didn't think fish felt pain. The researchers
took three cameras and filmed a gaggle of
fruit flies at 5,000 pictures per second (I'm
sure a "group" of flies is called
a "gaggle". I think I read that
in "Asinine Scientific Breakthroughs
They Get A Lot Of Money For" Magazine).
Analysis of the films showed that flies actively
use their wings in a series of steering and
VEGETABLES GO BAD #288
A 53-year old Italian woman is
recovering from shock after an artichoke she
was peeling sparked, emitted small flames
and exploded. At first authorities (I guess
the Artichoke Authorities...) worried that
the incident may have been the work of a terrorist
who has been planting explosive devices in
food products and supermarkets for the last
10 years. Forensic tests on the remains of
the artichoke showed no trace of explosives,
so police to believe it was a natural phenomenon
but there wasn't enough of the artichoke left
to bring it in for questioning.
MARY SAYS HI VIA WINDOW STAIN
Milton Hospital in Massachusetts
has covered a window that some say showed
an image of the Virgin Mary. More than 25,000
people stopped by, making it difficult for
patients and ambulances to go where they have
to go. Hospital officials covered the window
for most of the day so patients don't have
to fight through the crowds to get in. They
said they will uncover it only between 5.30pm
and 8.30pm when I guess they decided no one
has a heart attack or car accident so the
emergency lanes are clear. After covering
it, those coming to see the image now say
they can see Mary in a chiminey on another
part of the hospital. Some reported seeing
Lori Benedetto, 40, who drove from Rhode Island
with her mother to see the image told the
Boston Globe "'Morally, if this is an
image of the Virgin Mother, she of all people
does not deserve to be covered up''.
The hospital say the image is just Stuff from
when a sealant around the window ruptured
and let heat and moisture seep through, leaving
a chemical deposit.
I have a photo of this somewhere but I'm
too lazy to go find it right now.
Imagine a window with a stain on it that vaguely,
if you really REALLY look hard, might
possibly sort of look like kind of an out
line of a hooded blob. That's what it looks
Hey, doing stuff this way might save me a
lot of work...
SAYS HI VIA AUBERGINE
Visitors are now flocking to
see the aubergine at a house in Mendhasal
village, near Bhubaneswar. Oriya language
daily, Sambad, reports the aubergine was bought
from the local market. Muhammad Khalil's wife
sliced open the vegetable. She noticed the
seeds read 'Allah' in Urdu script. She informed
the Imam who ordered the vegetable to be kept
in a mosque for offering prayers. Hundreds
of Muslims are converging on the mosque to
see the vegetable.
MODERN SKULLS DISCOVERED, NO REALLY, THIS
A team digging in Ethiopia say
they have unearthed three 160,000-year-old
human skulls, making them 60,000-30,000 years
older than the most recent "Oldest"
ones. Two of the skulls, that of an adult
male and a child, are almost complete and
the partial skull of a second adult seem to
"represent a crucial stage of human evolution
when contemporary facial features developed".
The skulls have a prominent forehead, flattened
face and reduced brow which are unlike the
typical skulls which have all had projecting,
"They're not quite completely modern,
but they're well on their way. They're close
enough to call homo sapiens," said Tim
White, co-leader of the international team
that excavated the skulls.
FACE INVENTED BY CAVEMEN
Geologist Joseph Sinnott says five
stones with faces carved into them could be
The flat-backed stones with sunken eye sockets
and gaping mouths were found in the central
Massachusettes woods, but those who found
them just left them laying around, thinking
them just some odd anomaly.
Archaeologists and antiquity researchers throughout
New England are examining whether the stones
were sculpted by American Indians, prehistoric
settlers or pranksters.
The first 16-pound (7.2-kilogram)
"face" rock was given to him two
years ago by a man who said he found it in
1991 but Sinnott wasn't too impressed (neither
am I). A year later, a second stone face was
found to be owned by another man from the
same area. Three more stones weighing between
six and 25 pounds (11.3 kilograms) were found
within eight miles of each other and a woman
has contacted him to say she found a sixth.
JUST AN ELECTROCUTED CAT
People in Lardal, Norway reported
seeing a fire ball explode and fall slowly
down to Earth. Investigators said they found
the charred body of a cat at the base of an
electrical mast, so decided the cat climbed
up the mast, touched a live wire, exploded
There wasn't enough of the cat left to
bring it in for questioning ....
CAME FINGER SANDWICHES...
A 35-year old moron in Austria
found himself with the mad munchies after
he got high sniffing butane gas, so he cut
off his toes, fried them up and ate them between
two slices of bread.
The mans' sister called police when she walked
into the kitchen and saw Mr. Needs-A-Hobby
making the sandwich. When medical help arrived
he was, however, thoughtful enough to offer
them a toe, saying: "It tastes like chicken,
do you want some? There's a few still left
over." He also said that he had more
toes than he needed and didn't think he would
notice if he got rid of a few.
I have that same theory about stupid people....
BUGS FOUND IN BOY"S URINE
Chandan Goswami, who is 13 and
lives in India, became a medical anomaly after
he started producing live, winged beetles
in his urine. He said: "No one believed
me when I told them these flies were emerging.
I was suffering from aches in my lower belly
before the insects appeared." His mother
Alpana said: "AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Dr Snehansu Pan, at the Burdwan Medical College
Hospital in West Bengal, said: "This
is a condition called myiasis in which a human
or animal body, dead or alive, is invaded
by the larvae of particular types of flies.
This is a very, very rare condition and we
are trying to figure out how the fly invaded
the boy's body and then we will determine
how to treat him."
The least these people could do is have
a photo, for chrissakes. They take pics of
chemical stains on windows but not bugs some
kid is peeing? Where is the justice in media
reporting today? What a gyp. I guess we all
have to stop using that age-old expression
"yeah, when beetles fly out of my pee"
now. Good thing we still have "when monkeys
fly out of my butt" in it's stead.
Though I didn't read all the news items out
of Romania yet, so who knows....
ONLINE, THEN GO TO CONFESSION ONLINE!
Reverend Tor Egil Røyland
who heads a church in Hokksund, Norway is
offering the salvation from your sins in 12
seconds to anyone who reads a two line prayer
out loud from the church's website.
The church requests that people to read a
two line prayer out loud and then gives you
a message saying "Congratulations! You
have received salvation!" The Rev says
he sees no problems with the way this is presented
because "If a person reads a prayer heartily,
God will accept a simple prayer like the one
KILLING CHICKENS AGAIN
A gaggle of farmers from Donihue,
Chile are hunting vampires after 200 chickens
were found with all the blood drained from
A police spokesman said: "The farmers
are very scared. They organized a group and
went out to hunt what they believe is a vampire.
But they will come up with a normal explanation
for the deaths, I'm sure."
Owners of two of the farms said, "It
is spooky, there wasn't a drop of blood left
inside the chickens. Some say it was a vampire
and others that it was an alien."
STATUE STOLEN FROM IRAQ MUSEUM
One of the amazing
statues of a lizard/human that has helped
fuel the belief by some that lizard-like Aliens
once walked among us has been stolen from
the Iraq Museum in Baghdad. The statue, estimated
to have been made around 4000 BC is one of
several found in graves and temples at Ur
and Eridu. I've had a pic of these guys up
in the Archeology section, some of my favorites
SUBSTANCE ON EARTH CREATED
Scientists at the National Physical
Laboratory in London said they have developed
a coating that reflects 10 to 20 times less
light than the black paint currently used.
"Super-black" is made from nickel
and phosphorous and is microscopically pitted.
Light hitting the coating at an angle reflects
back less than 0.35% or 7 times less than
Nigel Fox, who heads the optics group at NPL,
said: "When you look at the black, it
is an incredibly beautiful surface. It's like
You know what this great invention will
be used for, don't you? Better Elvis-On-Black-Velvet
paintings, something the world desperately
needs more of.
ON THE SITE
NEW Ghost Section - I *told* you
I was working on stuff...
ODD PICS 2 - Hunks of burnin' love
Elvis .......World's biggest grizzly bear
sent in by A4SQ ......A Vulgar Tomato from
Katch_ _ _ _ _ (I can't read my own writing)
SCIENCE - The thinnest electronic screen
....Mule gives birth to mule-thing
HATE MAIL2 - more, of course
I have no idea how I'm going
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If you sent something nice, thank you. If
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If you sent something a long time ago and
I didn't yet, resend it. If you had a question
and asked it in the King's English or some
readable equivalent (no "dude"s,
Yo,yo,yo Blondie Babe or "Sup my Peep"
stuff) I'll get to it. If you sent a lot of
money or a marriage proposal and tickets to
Tahiti as a bride, I'll let you know how it
was when I get back, how much I sold the other
ticket for on EBay, and thanks.
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