#26......July 7, 2003

 

 

Hi Guys!

I've been gone awhile. I bet you noticed? My computer finally died. They ought to have a computer Hall Of Fame for the amount of abuse I put that thing through. 300 MHZ and 64 screaming MEG of RAM. A huge 2 GIG hard drive. You think doing the site's been easy on that thing? Think again. HAH! The worst part was calling people for help and having them put the phone down, they'd be laughing so hard. "You have a WHAT?! Seriously? Hahahahahaha!" I'd click a file to open, go get coffee, throw in a pizza, make a few calls and by the time I was done taking a shower, that file would pull right up! It'd usually crash the other two programs I was sometimes allowed to also have up and running, depending on the computer's mood that day. It sounded like a coffee grinder, didn't have an "A" drive anymore and maybe swearing at it all the time didn't help. BUT I got an extra few months out of it by turning it upside down, remembering a trick that made loud clocks quiet down. Then..THEN! I backed up a lot of stuff on CDs all the time, awaiting this Impending Doom Crash but did I label them? No! Of -fricking-course-not. That would have made too much sense. So I have like, 87 CDs with all my files, mail and stuff on them to go through. My mom was nice enough to lend me her ACER which had an A drive. No, JUST an A drive. Nice color, though, and the CD drawer did make a handy cup holder. The funnest part is I didn't have access to my site's Evil Webhost Central Area and see I have about 4,000 emails to go through (no exaggeration). BUT the better news is I have a new computer finally BUT you know what those Dell people did? They put this damn game on the comp called "Blaster Ball". Well let me tell you, that was three weeks wasted, addicted to that damn game and nothing else done. You know when you say, "Ok, one more and then I'm getting to work..." and then it's 8 hours later? Well, I finally found out how to kill the whirly pink things, so life is good. I did have to stage an Intervention for myself, in which I took my self outside (did you know there's people out there? And they don't say "LOL" when you're funny? It's quite something. There was also this really bright thing in the sky but I picked up a stick in case it came down to bite me, so I think I was ok) and unplugged. Once I figure out how the hell to get all my German and Japanese programs onto Windows XP, which seems to think it has to actually know German and Japanese to install them, I'm all set. Telling it that they worked fine back in 1994 does no good. If any of you want to come over for a few weeks and help me with the mail, that'd be great. Hope you like pizza and coffee because that's about all you'll get to eat, but you see how damn cheerful it makes ME, so it's got to be a good diet, I figure. Thanks for all your patience and the bunch of you who wrote to ask if I was dead or not. You're sweet :)

ONWARD:
U.S. STILL SAYS NUH UH, WE DON'T HAVE THIS TECHNOLOGY...
Russian President Vladimir Putin said he can promise sunshine for any St. Petersburg's 300th birthday celebration by ordering the Russian air force to spray chemicals on rain clouds. Ten planes will be kept ready for action in case it looks like rain and according to the Defence Ministry in Moscow they will be dispatched to spray "undisclosed chemicals" on the clouds to trigger the rain outside the city limits.

SUPER THIN ELECTRONIC SCREEN WILL LET AOL HARASS US EVEN MORE
Yu Chen and colleagues at the E-Ink Corporation in Cambridge, Massachusetts announced the discovery of a super thin material that is as thick as three human hairs. Using electronic charges, it can be used to display electronic text like a newspaper. Read about it in "Science"

SCIENTISTS STUDY MORE STUPID BULLSHIT
Scientists at Edinburgh University and the Roslin Institute say they now have proof that fish can feel pain after a study done on rainbow trout showed that when bees were allowed to sting the lips of the fish, the fish rocked back and forth as if in pain.

The study says this shows the first evidence indicating fish pain by demonstrating they have nervous system receptors, or "polymodal nociceptors", in the head that respond to damaging stimuli.
"Anomalous behaviors were exhibited by trout subjected to bee venom and acetic acid," says Dr. Lynne Sneddon, who led the fun torturing the fish to see if they'd mind much.
She added: "Our research demonstrates nociception and suggests that noxious stimulation in the rainbow trout has adverse behavioral and physiological effects. This fulfills the criteria for animal pain." You tell 'em Lynne.
The story goes on to say "It will increase animal rights activists' calls for Britain's 3.8 million anglers to stop their "cruel" sport".

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
Well this is news to me. I had no idea the Brits had a sport of making bees
sting fish lips. (Say that three times fast..)
I mean, here in the States we just outright fish, with the bait and all? Where
does one buy the bees? Are there special Fish Bees? How do you train them?
I've never seen it featured onDISCOVERY or BBC but then again if I even so much
as pass by a golfing channel or regular fishing show, I immediately fall into
a deep coma of boredom, so perhaps I've just missed it
.(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

SCIENTISTS ALSO DISCOVER FLIES CAN FLY
Scientists in Switzerland have finally confirmed that flies can actually fly, which was damn nice of them to let us know, I think. Before this, scientists mused that flies technically "swam" in the air. Why, you ask? Don't. I'm still amazed they didn't think fish felt pain. The researchers took three cameras and filmed a gaggle of fruit flies at 5,000 pictures per second (I'm sure a "group" of flies is called a "gaggle". I think I read that in "Asinine Scientific Breakthroughs They Get A Lot Of Money For" Magazine). Analysis of the films showed that flies actively use their wings in a series of steering and countersteering movements.

WHEN VEGETABLES GO BAD #288
A 53-year old Italian woman is recovering from shock after an artichoke she was peeling sparked, emitted small flames and exploded. At first authorities (I guess the Artichoke Authorities...) worried that the incident may have been the work of a terrorist who has been planting explosive devices in food products and supermarkets for the last 10 years. Forensic tests on the remains of the artichoke showed no trace of explosives, so police to believe it was a natural phenomenon but there wasn't enough of the artichoke left to bring it in for questioning.

VIRGIN MARY SAYS HI VIA WINDOW STAIN
Milton Hospital in Massachusetts has covered a window that some say showed an image of the Virgin Mary. More than 25,000 people stopped by, making it difficult for patients and ambulances to go where they have to go. Hospital officials covered the window for most of the day so patients don't have to fight through the crowds to get in. They said they will uncover it only between 5.30pm and 8.30pm when I guess they decided no one has a heart attack or car accident so the emergency lanes are clear. After covering it, those coming to see the image now say they can see Mary in a chiminey on another part of the hospital. Some reported seeing crosses.
Lori Benedetto, 40, who drove from Rhode Island with her mother to see the image told the Boston Globe "'Morally, if this is an image of the Virgin Mother, she of all people does not deserve to be covered up''.
The hospital say the image is just Stuff from when a sealant around the window ruptured and let heat and moisture seep through, leaving a chemical deposit.

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
I have a photo of this somewhere but I'm too lazy to go find it right now.
Imagine a window with a stain on it that vaguely, if you really REALLY look hard, might
possibly sort of look like kind of an out line of a hooded blob. That's what it looks like.
Hey, doing stuff this way might save me a lot of work...
(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

ALLA SAYS HI VIA AUBERGINE
Visitors are now flocking to see the aubergine at a house in Mendhasal village, near Bhubaneswar. Oriya language daily, Sambad, reports the aubergine was bought from the local market. Muhammad Khalil's wife sliced open the vegetable. She noticed the seeds read 'Allah' in Urdu script. She informed the Imam who ordered the vegetable to be kept in a mosque for offering prayers. Hundreds of Muslims are converging on the mosque to see the vegetable.

OLDEST MODERN SKULLS DISCOVERED, NO REALLY, THIS TIME
A team digging in Ethiopia say they have unearthed three 160,000-year-old human skulls, making them 60,000-30,000 years older than the most recent "Oldest" ones. Two of the skulls, that of an adult male and a child, are almost complete and the partial skull of a second adult seem to "represent a crucial stage of human evolution when contemporary facial features developed". The skulls have a prominent forehead, flattened face and reduced brow which are unlike the typical skulls which have all had projecting, heavy-brows.
"They're not quite completely modern, but they're well on their way. They're close enough to call homo sapiens," said Tim White, co-leader of the international team that excavated the skulls.

HAPPY FACE INVENTED BY CAVEMEN
Geologist Joseph Sinnott says five stones with faces carved into them could be prehistoric relics.
The flat-backed stones with sunken eye sockets and gaping mouths were found in the central Massachusettes woods, but those who found them just left them laying around, thinking them just some odd anomaly.
Archaeologists and antiquity researchers throughout New England are examining whether the stones were sculpted by American Indians, prehistoric settlers or pranksters.

The first 16-pound (7.2-kilogram) "face" rock was given to him two years ago by a man who said he found it in 1991 but Sinnott wasn't too impressed (neither am I). A year later, a second stone face was found to be owned by another man from the same area. Three more stones weighing between six and 25 pounds (11.3 kilograms) were found within eight miles of each other and a woman has contacted him to say she found a sixth.

UFO JUST AN ELECTROCUTED CAT
People in Lardal, Norway reported seeing a fire ball explode and fall slowly down to Earth. Investigators said they found the charred body of a cat at the base of an electrical mast, so decided the cat climbed up the mast, touched a live wire, exploded and fell.

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
There wasn't enough of the cat left to bring it in for questioning ....
(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

FIRST CAME FINGER SANDWICHES...
A 35-year old moron in Austria found himself with the mad munchies after he got high sniffing butane gas, so he cut off his toes, fried them up and ate them between two slices of bread.
The mans' sister called police when she walked into the kitchen and saw Mr. Needs-A-Hobby making the sandwich. When medical help arrived he was, however, thoughtful enough to offer them a toe, saying: "It tastes like chicken, do you want some? There's a few still left over." He also said that he had more toes than he needed and didn't think he would notice if he got rid of a few.

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
I have that same theory about stupid people....
(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

LIVE BUGS FOUND IN BOY"S URINE
Chandan Goswami, who is 13 and lives in India, became a medical anomaly after he started producing live, winged beetles in his urine. He said: "No one believed me when I told them these flies were emerging. I was suffering from aches in my lower belly before the insects appeared." His mother Alpana said: "AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Dr Snehansu Pan, at the Burdwan Medical College Hospital in West Bengal, said: "This is a condition called myiasis in which a human or animal body, dead or alive, is invaded by the larvae of particular types of flies. This is a very, very rare condition and we are trying to figure out how the fly invaded the boy's body and then we will determine how to treat him."

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
The least these people could do is have a photo, for chrissakes. They take pics of chemical stains on windows but not bugs some kid is peeing? Where is the justice in media reporting today? What a gyp. I guess we all have to stop using that age-old expression "yeah, when beetles fly out of my pee" now. Good thing we still have "when monkeys fly out of my butt" in it's stead.
Though I didn't read all the news items out of Romania yet, so who knows....
(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

CYBER ONLINE, THEN GO TO CONFESSION ONLINE!
Reverend Tor Egil Røyland who heads a church in Hokksund, Norway is offering the salvation from your sins in 12 seconds to anyone who reads a two line prayer out loud from the church's website.
The church requests that people to read a two line prayer out loud and then gives you a message saying "Congratulations! You have received salvation!" The Rev says he sees no problems with the way this is presented because "If a person reads a prayer heartily, God will accept a simple prayer like the one we

VAMPIRES/ALIENS KILLING CHICKENS AGAIN
A gaggle of farmers from Donihue, Chile are hunting vampires after 200 chickens were found with all the blood drained from their bodies.
A police spokesman said: "The farmers are very scared. They organized a group and went out to hunt what they believe is a vampire. But they will come up with a normal explanation for the deaths, I'm sure."
Owners of two of the farms said, "It is spooky, there wasn't a drop of blood left inside the chickens. Some say it was a vampire and others that it was an alien."

LIZARD PERSON STATUE STOLEN FROM IRAQ MUSEUM
One of the amazing statues of a lizard/human that has helped fuel the belief by some that lizard-like Aliens once walked among us has been stolen from the Iraq Museum in Baghdad. The statue, estimated to have been made around 4000 BC is one of several found in graves and temples at Ur and Eridu. I've had a pic of these guys up in the Archeology section, some of my favorites

DARKEST SUBSTANCE ON EARTH CREATED
Scientists at the National Physical Laboratory in London said they have developed a coating that reflects 10 to 20 times less light than the black paint currently used. "Super-black" is made from nickel and phosphorous and is microscopically pitted. Light hitting the coating at an angle reflects back less than 0.35% or 7 times less than black paint.
Nigel Fox, who heads the optics group at NPL, said: "When you look at the black, it is an incredibly beautiful surface. It's like black velvet."

(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)
You know what this great invention will be used for, don't you? Better Elvis-On-Black-Velvet
paintings, something the world desperately needs more of.
(¯`'·.¸§(¯`'·.¸¤°º¤º°º¤º°¤¸.·'´¯)§¸.·'´¯)

NEW ON THE SITE
NEW Ghost Section
- I *told* you I was working on stuff...
ODD PICS 2 - Hunks of burnin' love Elvis .......World's biggest grizzly bear sent in by A4SQ ......A Vulgar Tomato from Katch_ _ _ _ _ (I can't read my own writing)
SCIENCE - The thinnest electronic screen ....Mule gives birth to mule-thing
HATE MAIL2 - more, of course

I have no idea how I'm going to get to all my mail, but I'll work on it. If you sent something nice, thank you. If you whined and bitched - kiss my ass. If you sent something to put up - it'll get there. If you sent something a long time ago and I didn't yet, resend it. If you had a question and asked it in the King's English or some readable equivalent (no "dude"s, Yo,yo,yo Blondie Babe or "Sup my Peep" stuff) I'll get to it. If you sent a lot of money or a marriage proposal and tickets to Tahiti as a bride, I'll let you know how it was when I get back, how much I sold the other ticket for on EBay, and thanks.

Thanks for being here!

I'm trying like hell not to put obnoxious ads on the site and insult both our intelligence. However, that's they way most generate $ to pay for the domain and expenses. If you'd like to support the site and help keep me supplied in coffee and help pay for the monster this site has turned into you can donate whatever you'd like through Amazon safely: http://www.amazon.com/paypage/P27EJ6Z3ODKENH (They take 15% but I can't bitch)
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