Well, this was a good one.
I was a nice day and I was helping the kids downstairs
draw a hopscotch on the sidewalk when the lady next
door waved to us, all excited, "Come see what
I bought!" So I walked over. On her porch sat
one of the most horrifying things I've seen in a long
time - two cement geese about 3 feet tall, dressed
up in little American Flag outfits.
The Boy Goose was dressed up like Uncle Sam with a
stars-and-stripes vest, striped stovepipe hat and a
little white beard. The Lady Goose had a dress of the
same red, white and blue Flag material and a little
white sun bonnet with wires that came out like a halo
of sparklers.
"Aren't these the cutest things?!" she squealed.
"Uh..."
"And there's different outfits for every month!
October is a little pumpkin suit for the man and a
witch for the lady! And..oh! There's a whole catalog
of little outfits! Let me go get it!"
She ran inside shaking her hands in front of her as
she gingerly hopped up the stairs - don't go away!.
Her husband came out, rubbing his forehead as if the
pain was almost too much to bear, and looked at me,
almost ashamed.
"You married her," I said, helpfully.
"Oh my God, you should see February," he
said, now rubbing the bridge of his nose, "the
outfits look like two big hearts all full of lace and
ribbons. And there's little arms sewn into the sides
so that they hold hands with each other...."
Libby appeared with the catalog. "....isn't this
CUTE?! Look at December! Mr. and Mrs. Santa
isn't that cute!?" And you can get little outfits
like a doctor and nurse! And Tarzan and Jane..."
I guess I had that look on my face like people get
when they just witnessed an accidental decapitation.
"No?"
"Well, it's uh...different. I guess. You know
what'd be funny? Marilyn Manson and George Bush".
"Who's she?"
"Don't give her ideas," Libby's husband said
to me, "we'll end up with a Dolly Parton Goose
or Elvis".
"Elvis and Dolly? OH, THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE!
I bet I can make those!"
If the Cosmic Supreme Being
is a merciful and loving One, He/She/It/They will not
allow this cement goose fad to spread beyond the shores
of the US.
hAPPY bIRTHDAY
to: JUNE: Lauren
~ 20th .. David ~ 21st .. Wil &
Betty!! ~ 24th .. Tara ~ 25th .. Brad
~ 27th .. Ron ~ 28th ..Pete &
Adam ~ 30th ~=~ JULY:
Michael ~ 3rd .. R. Andrews ~ 4th ..
Jesse ~ 7th .. Dennis & Destiny
& Tim ~ 8th ..Deedee ~ 10th .. Mary
~ 12th .. Spence ~ 13th .. Krys ~ 15th
.. koolCid ~ 18th ..
Neil ~ 19th .. Sana ~ 20th .. Sharon!
& Wendy ~ 23rd
Tinfoil hats for all !
~<| ~<|
~<|
~<| ~<|
~<| ~<| ~<|
~<| ~<| ~<|
~<| ~<| ~<|
~<| ~<| ~<| ~<| ~<|
Onward:
POP GOES THE MOSQUITOES
Michael Nyberg, who is 16, was experimenting with a
theory he had - that acoustic energy would kill mosquito
larvae before they could become adults. All mosquito
larvae hatch and live in water, so they have internal
air bladders that help them breathe, move and feed
until they get big enough to be annoying. Mike found
that if you send sound waves between 18 kilohertz and
36 kilohertz (just above the level humans can hear)
though the water they cause these air bladders to vibrate
like a tuning fork and rupture, killing the larvae.
And Good Riddance.
Mike's Dad, Herb says, "You drop
it in the water, push the button, three seconds later
you pull it out — you're done. Any larvae within
three feet will die instantly. Any within five feet
will die within 24 hours." Test so far show this
device doesn't effect or harm any other critter in
the water except the mosquitoes.
The Nyberg's "Larvasonic"
received a patent last October, but each $4,000 unit
is industrial size and so far only used by county and
state agencies. They're designing two more models with
wider kill ranges and plan to develop a Larvasonic
for regular folks to use at home.
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
Can't they develop something like this to use on
Public Cell Phone Screamers?
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
OLDEST DINOSAUR FOR SURE THIS TIME
DISCOVERED, PART 1 *
Brazilian Palaeontologists think they may have found
the fossil of what is now the oldest known dinosaur.
The critter is thought to be a relative of reptilian
carnivores called Thecodonts - that were relatives
of crocodiles - that were slogging through the muck
about 235-240 million years ago. They think this New
Guy was the first to have come on to land, so ended
up getting all the chicks. It was pieced together from
two 12" skulls (30 cm) and other bones which put
it's estimated size at about 6.5" (2m).
PART 2 ...ANOTHER EXCITING FOSSIL
THING-LIKE THING DISCOVERED *
Scientists have discovered the fossilized remains of
a marine animal they say is "far more advanced
than anything else from its time". They say it
may have been a sponge or coral which lived nearly
550 million years ago but has a much more sophisticated
series of tubes and also a hard shell which was not
seen at the time.
WHEN SCIENTISTS BREATH FUMES, FILE # 6,033
According to new calculations, there are a lot more
flowering plant species on Earth than previously thought,
probably about 422,000 species.
However! Scientists now think that instead of there
being over 30-million species of insects, there are
probably a lot less - only four to six million different
insect groups. Ready for the explanation? This is precious:
This new estimate is "based on a study of the
plants which insects eat and that insects are "much
less picky feeders' than anyone had realized."
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
I think I speak for all of us when I say, "huh?"
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
NANOTRANSISTOR MADE*
A 50-nanometer transistor - about 1/2000 the width
of a human hair - has been created on top of a silicon
wafer.
It has been built with a two-sided "gate' which
allows current to flow in either direction, meaning
the processing speeds of some chips could be doubled.
DOG RUNS TO GET HELP, JUST LIKE LASSIE
A one-year-old Alsatian named Tschibsi ran over a mile
to get help after its owner had an accident on some
farming machinery and sliced off part of his foot in
an isolated field. Austrian police said the 62-year-old
man would have bled to death if the dog had not run
the 1.2 miles to the farmer's home, barking and howling
until the farmer's wife realized something had happened
and called for help. A medical helicopter took him
to hospital where he's recovering.
A SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID...
Mickey Lyman, 44, thought he would rob a store in Connecticut
but only managed to make an ass of himself when the
shaving cream he put on his face as a disguise warmed
up and dripped off. Lyman is a regular customer at
the store. Said Shop owner Shahab Mirza, "In a
second we recognized him."
PART 2 ...
Roger Wallace, 60, of Tucson, Arizona who was out enjoying
his hobby, died after the 6-pound, radio-controlled
plane he was operating crashed into his chest, authorities
said.
PART 3...
Randy Kimball and Sharon Stehli got married at 7:11
in the morning on July 11, at a Seven-Eleven convenience
store in Fort Myers, Florida, where they met.
The ceremony was performed by a notary who is an assistant
manager at another Seven-Eleven.
Afterwards, the newlyweds sipped coffee from a foam
7-11 cup.
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
My God, the world is going to hell
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
I BET IT'S JUST LEGOS*
Chinese scientists are examining an ancient pile of
weird stones that some say might have been a launch
tower for UFOs. The stones are on the shore of an isolated
lake that is at such a high, harsh altitude that it
hasn't even had a nomadic population.
The structure has three tall cave-like
hollows in it, two of which are collapsed. There are
pipes running through it made of iron which has rusted
into the rock itself. Eight per-cent of the pipe material
has defied Earthly analysis and some of the pipes run
into the lake.
OLDEST ROCKS ON EARTH FOUND*
A team from Peking University found a 62 mile long
(100 km) faulted belt of mantle crust near the Great
Wall of China. Analysis estimates the rock was laying
deep beneath what was sea floor 2.5 billion years ago,
which makes it the oldest rock on Earth.
The rock is full of minerals, including an unusual
type of chromite which appears to have been deformed
at extremely high temperatures before they were completely
crystallized by volcanic heat.
NOTHING LIKE GIVING THEM IDEAS...
US scientists have created the first synthetic virus
from scratch by following a recipe they downloaded
from the Internet and using gene sequences for Polio
from a mail-order supplier. Responding to criticisms
that such research could lead to bioterrorists engineering
new lethal viruses, the scientists behind the experiment
said that only a few people had the knowledge to make
it happen and, "It was just a matter of time before
it was done"
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
I often wonder when I hear the news lately and her
reports like this, or details
on how anthrax can be spread, or exactly where terrorists
could go mess with
if they wanted to really screw us up or details of
where our military troops are
and what they're planning on doing next....
does it ever occur to our media to SHUT
THE HELL UP once in awhile?
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
DAMN, THE GOOD STORIES NEVER HAVE
PHOTOS..
When police forced their way into the home of an 86-year-old
recluse's home in Helsingor, Denmark, they found him
sitting on the toilet . He had been dead about a year,
judging by the date of a bottle of medicine found next
to the body. Neighbors said they had not seen the man
for a long time but had not tried to contact him because
the man was a loner and made it clear he wanted peace
and quiet. They finally called authorities when they
noticed a bad smell.
NEW ON THE SITE:
ODD PICS 2: A newly discovered spider with Googly
Eyes .... The first photograph ever taken .... Story
and photos of a UFO that sat in the sky so long near
Chicago that the sender wrote they got "bored"
looking at the thing ... A precious photo of a guy
who went to a shopping mall, naked except for some,
um, accessories and chained himself to a table ...
Photo showing one of the main reason for Morning Breath
... *The Chinese ET Tower ... Photo of a Lake Spirit
sent in by Eric Dion ... A very strange 3-D ghost of
a bird on a window sent in by Chris Henshaw ...
UPDATE ON ARCHEOLOGY - I got
an Xray of Pedro the Mystery Mummy, so have added it
on the page with that story and photo of the mummy
hisself. The mummy was found in 1932 after a mountainside
was blasted open by some men looking for gold. Placed
on a shelf in what had been a totally sealed cave was
a bizarre liitle being who was the subject of much
scientific scrutiny at the time. It was determined
the mummy was a humanoid adult. Oh, it gets better...go
look :)
SCIENCE: *Tooth Receiver Implant
... *Oldest Dinosaur found ... *Oldest 'Sophisticated'
Fossil ... *The Nanotransmitter ....A neat satellite
map of Antarctica ... *The Oldest Rocks on Earth
NEW SECTION - HATE MAIL ... Had
to do it... it cracks me up. You can get to it via
the button on the front page. Some is old, some is
new, I just added one last night. One of the letters
is from a guy who told me he was a drop-dead cute stud
of serious magnitude, and I had to be repulsive
troll since I didn't have a photo of myself on the
site. I told him if he showed me his I'd show him mine.
After all, how often do we get to see an actual photo
of gorgeous, perfect, intelligent, well-adjusted, stable,
socially gifted men who have nothing better to do than
send psychotic misogynist mail to women on the Internet?
What a well-rounded individual! He did sent a photo
of himself, and I put up one of me, if you want to
look. I haven't heard back from him yet and am quite
disappointed.
ALIEN WRITING: I redid the section
to load faster (most examples are pop up windows now)
and added a photo of a very ancient scroll found in
a cave in the Gobi desert that is of a language no
one's been able to translate nor seen before.
GUEST MAP: On the front page
you'll find a button which will pop a map up for you.
You can put a pin on it to show where you live and
leave your name and a message. I added this after realizing
people from ALL over the world were writing to me and
signing up for the newsletter. I thought well HOW the
heck does that happen? So I put the site's URL in an
engine that traces who has it listed on their site
amd found A-U linked to over 240 other sites..wow!
People fascinate me so I wondered who the heck they
were, and this is a way to find out. The comments so
far have been nice as hell and the question I ask -
Have you had anything anomalous happen to you? - has
generated some hilarious and interesting answers (the
guy who said "I caught a duck once" just
killed me). I have also removed and sent rabid hate
mail to several doodyheaded little buttmunches who
posted pottymouth stuff, so I've had LOTS of fun! Stop
on over and pin yer place when you have a sec, and
thanks!
I've received a lot of mail the last
few months with new info on underground bases :::drool:::
and have to get to work redoing that section. 'They'
are actually building them as we speak. I appreciate
you folks telling me and haven't forgotten you. (One
person wrote to tell me I had goofed up marking one
of the bases on the map I made. They were so polite
about it too, like, "By the way, you put that
base on the wrong side of the border, so it's in the
totally wrong state, you might want to fix that".
Oh, that was funny. What an IDIOT I am sometimes. :)
That's It for now! Thanks for reading!
More very soon!
Mail me<--
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