Long story short - I've been
gone a few weeks and the site had problems. They're
fixed. I'm back. Hi!
Longer story - I have some anomalous
science news to report, first hand. I had a heinous
experiment conducted on me by short alien doctors!
(The fact that, at 5'10, most everyone is shorter than
me, means nothing..so ignore that...I'm going for Drama
here). Reason I was gone is, as some of you know, I
have some health problems. One of them being horrible,
and I mean off the scale, basically non-stop migraines.
Well, they got worse which I didn't think was possible.
So, this new Alien Neurologist I ended up at talked
me into being an Earthling experiment by letting him
inject me with Botox. Botox is a purified form of the
Botulism bacteria, which kills people. Plastic surgeons
have used it as a trendy Wrinkle Eraser because it
paralyzes muscles when it's injected into them in small
doses. In bigger doses it REALLY paralyzes muscles
and stops them from spasming and also blocks pain transmissions.
It's mostly used in last-ditch effort scenarios for
people who, as the Alien MD told me, waving a tentacle,
are "out of options and in uncontrollable pain."
I was in such bad shape that if they had told me to
drink Camel pee three times a day I would have done
it, gladly, through a Bendy Straw; so what's a little
poison? Bring it on, I sez. Let's do it.
In writing this up I went to this site http://headaches.about.com/library/weekly/aa073101a.htm?iam=excite_1&terms=botox
to verify some facts I was remembering and they have
a nice photo with Seven little dots drawn on a woman's
face, showing the typical site of Botox injections
for people suffering from severe migraines. I laffed
right out loud at this.
If you're squeamish, skip this part
and go to the "happy birthday " section.
I got the seven, alright. And about
30 more. In back of my ears. Along my eye sockets.
Up my forehead, along the top of my head, down the
back down the nape of my neck, in the hollow of the
back on my skull, down the muscles along either side
of the spine. In my jaw. And eyebrows. And side of
my nose. And then I stopped paying attention. I heard
things crunching when the needles went in. It hurt
like hell. There were three of them. hovering over
me, pointing and saying things like, "oot arg
hoyt" to each other, and I knew they were just
having fun at my expense. One of the shots made my
arm twitch and I said hey, just like the frogs you
dissect in in college hahahaha and they didn't laugh
but I know they wanted to. They weren't kidding anyone.
So, here I am, and I have a Deep Alien Secret to share
with you - I know what this Botox is. What the secret
is. You see - it still all hurts like hell. I am maybe
half a notch better, even after all that. If I wasn't
so damn stubborn I'd go to the ER right now and cry
and wail and stop being so stoic and start all over
again and beg someone to do something but you know
what? This stuff is FUN. And the secret is..it keeps
you occupied. My face is frozen, the experiment worked.
Each hour brings a new discovery that distracts me
from my pain. I have always taken great pride in the
fact that I could raise one eyebrow at a time, like
Spock, and now I can't. I drank out of a straw tonight
and soda came shooting out my nose, because the whole
bottom half of my chin doesn't swallow. This is fascinating!
It still hurts! But I'm having too much fun to notice
half the time! I recommend it, if you ever are faced
with the decision.
The Botox fades in about 3 months. Don't know what
happens after that. Camel Urine therapy, maybe. And
you'll notice I did share the medical and scientific
side of this with you, my dear readers, while sparing
you the stuff like all the blood dripping in my eyes
and running a 103 fever and them thinking they killed
me. So *I* see it as all anomalous fun and WHAT luck
that I have this site as a venue to share all this,
huh? Hot damn, how things work out sometimes. :)
One more mention - Of all the
new people who signed up for the newsletter in the
last few weeks, ELEVEN of them are named Matthew. This
is a bit over the Normal Matthew Percentage and I smell
a conspiracy. I wanted to mention this publicly, just
in case. If I 'out' this right at the beginning, it
might thwart whatever Global/Alien/Take over/Conspiracy/New
World Order plot might be brewing. I'm thinking of
putting up a form and making them all register or something.
Birthday to! :
Shane~June 3.....Helen~June 6.....christa
& Brian~ June 8....Ann~June 9.....Larry~June
13....Michael & rees2n1-June 15....suri~June
16....Matt~June 17....george~June 18
! (didn't send me your Bday when you signed up? Send
it to me anytime!)
Extra Happy Birthday to
Carla's Grandmom who is
97 on the 12th. You go, girl
NEW "IF IT'S IN WATER, THEY FOUND ONE"
DISCOVERED OFF NZ COAST
New Zealand's National Institute of Water and Atmospheric
Research (NIWA), along with American & Japanese
scientists recently spent 22 days mapping more than
24,000 square kilometers of sea floor off New Zealand's
northeast coast. It was well worth their time.
Images were built of more than 50 new volcanoes; 13
are more than 6 miles (10 km) in diameter. Seven of
those volcanoes are active. The largest volcano of
the area was more than 12 miles (20 km) in diameter
and 1.5 miles (2.5 km) high. Also discovered are a
new 'caldera' volcano that forms a hole in the sea
floor 1,600 feet (500 m) deep.
Three new sets of underwater springs were discovered
and new bacteria and animal species were discovered
living around the vents. These Include a brand new
bivalve and two new species of mussel.
Microbiologists brought up microbes found in the black
smoker plumes and grew them at 158F (70 C) in laboratory
conditions aboard the NIWA research ship.
"That's pretty incredible," said geomicrobiologist
Dr Chris Daughney. "That's approaching the theoretical
temperature limit of life."
They never spent a summer in Chicago, I see...
NZ CONTINUES TO KICK ASS, PART 2
The discovery of a 70-million-year-old marine reptile
fossil found in New Zealand has been identified as
a new species. The near-complete body of a previously
unknown species of plesiosaur, a type of giant fast-swimming
reptile, was embedded in rock on a North Otago beach,
North of Dunedin..
It has been named Kaiwhekea Katiki by Otago University
geology associate professor Ewan Fordyce and Arthur
Cruickshank from Leicester Museums in the UK. The traditional
plesiosaur had been described as "a snake threaded
through the body of a turtle". This one was not
so long in the neck and has different skull, teeth,
eye and cheekbone proportions than the typically known
PHONES AS THIN AS PAPER INVENTED
Soon you could be using your mobile phone as a book
Stephen Forshaw has invented a wafer-thin phone stuck
to paper that can be used to make one call. He sees
the one-call phone as a kind of greeting card and the
design won 1st prize in a competition sponsored by
Called the 'PS Call Me', the phone's electronics are
in a computer chip thin enough to stick on a piece
of paper and even mail. It works just like a regular
phone. The recipient calls the sender by pressing a
button on the "paper" phone. The sender would
activate it to make sure it rang the right person.
It will sell for about $14. (Which I think is about
£10. I dunno. My head hurts and I'm too lazy
to go look it up. I know it's 1,350.54 Icelandic Kronur,
does that help?)
You may recall the item from the last newsletter,
"Cell Phones Allow Nagging From Afar".
Well, imagine the new heights a paper-postable-mailable
phone will do for this sport. Oh I know,
I'm being my usual, cynical self. There's plenty of
fuzzy warm pookie fluffy bunny mookie
snuggums huggy wuzzy wubby crap this new paper phone
can be used for. They want you to
envision the young, smitten lad placing one under the
window wiper of the young Lass' car with a
little "call me, I miss you" note attached,
showing her love-drenched smile when she reads the
teeth gleaming perfect in the sun. Hearts and flowers
and sentiment. That kind of stuff. PUH-lease.
What opportunities the paper phone will open up is:
people like me, getting about a dozen and
planting them into the magazines of my downstairs neighbor
over the course of a week as they're left
in the hallway by the mailman. When I know the neighbor
has about 10 of the paper phones tucked
away in 10 magazines strewn all over his apartment,
I wait till 3am on a Sunday morning when I'm
sure the hangover he's nursing is just about fading
enough to let him drift off to sleep, and start calling.
Phone # 1 rings as I sit upstairs admiring the wafer
thin technology of the , sipping my coffee, listening
to the "PS Call Me" and
hear the crashing of furniture below as he stumbles
around in the dark, the
swearing, the banging of toes and knees, trying to
find out WTF is ringing at 3 am, seemingly out
of nowhere. He finds it, yet it's just a piece of paper.
How can that be? I wait 20 minutes, and call on
Phone #2, listening to it ring for 30 minutes while
he tries to figure out what drawer that Playboy
is stashed in. By Phone #9, he's got the idea. His
nerves are shot. He's afraid to close his eyes, lest
the next bell goes off, a Pavlovian terror by this
point. When the last phone does ring, on that paper
have penned a (tender) note which will read, "Remember
when you pinched my ass in the hallway
in front of my mom and said, "call me sometime,
we'll have fun? Well, I am. Thanks!'".
THAI GUY INVENTS NEW MENTAL ILLNESS
A Thai man was arrested for setting fire to cars and
explained it his actions by saying that the sound of
emergency vehicle sirens sent him into a sexual frenzy.
After setting vehicles on fire, he'd go buy a beer,
call police, hang around to watch the flashing lights
and sirens of the emergency vehicles as they arrived
and have an orgasm. He helpfully added that doing all
this relieved the stress of his every day life..
Police discovered that he had been previously jailed
for two years on similar charges and after his release
got a job as volunteer fireman. Doctors said he needs
Winners of the "I look like my dog" contest
They're hilariously perfect.
Incredibly detailed antique, panoramic view, hand-drawn
pen & Ink drafted maps of America and Canada for
download or purchase - by state or territory - from
the mid 1800s to 1900s. That's how they did it back
then...now it's fine art
'TECHNO-PAINT' CAN CHANGE COLOR
A Dutch team has developed spray-on liquid crystal
'paint' which changes color at the touch of a button
and could be used to make giant TV screens, digital
billboards and walls.
Current liquid crystal displays need
to be sandwiched between two plates of glass, limiting
their size and making them fragile. The paint is more
versatile as it can be sprayed on to a single glass
Prototypes are being developed that will work on plastic
and fabric might be next. This could cut down the weight
of laptop computers and even be used for wall-sized
LCD "artworks" and LCDs on surfaces that
are not flat.
DEVOUT CATHOLICS MORE PRONE TO OCD
A new study claims devout Catholics are more likely
to suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorders. The
study compared nuns, priests and those who listed themselves
as "devout Catholics" with against those
with virtually no religious involvement or people who
siad they were 'religious' but didn't consider themselves
Volunteers were asked to list symptoms like intrusive
mental images, worries, feelings of self worth and
how well they felt they were personally adapting their
life according to their religion's guidelines.
Researchers from the University of Parma in Italy found
the more devout Catholics reported the more severe
symptoms, but that this may only show that people that
already were prone to having those character traits
feel more drawn to religion and devote themselves to
God as a way of trying to cope with them..
Lynne Drummond, a psychiatrist at St George's Hospital,
London, says many OCD patients say they had a strict
upbringing where actions were either right or wrong
with no gray areas.
425 MILLION-YEAR-OLD DNA SAMPLE FOUND
A British scientist has discovered the oldest sample
of DNA known to man, a 425 million-year-old micro-organism
found in salt in a remote part of Michigan. It's 4,000
times older than the previous record holder which was
taken from a frozen mammoth
The minute samples of the ancient sea is 11 to 425
million years old and shows evidence of different populations
of micro-organisms in salt layers of different ages.
Until now DNA was thought to be able to survive for
only tens of thousands of years.
GEOGRAPHY IS MAKING VILLAGERS DEAF
Romanian doctors said the entire population of a mountain
village has hearing problems and they have no idea
why; other than the fact they live there. Doctors from
Sibiu County Hospital say 800 people in Copsa Mica
have reported having trouble hearing amd many have
gone completely deaf . Specialists say it may be due
to air streams and pressures caused by the village's
location in a depression of the Carpathian mountains.
LOST INCA CITY DISCOVERED
An expedition co-led by Hugh Thomson of Britain's Royal
Geographical Society and American archeologist Gary
Ziegler have discovered the ruins of a lost settlement
about 30 miles (50 km) southwest of the famous ruins
of Machu Picchu, in the Peruvian Andes. Named Cota
Coca, the city is said to be in a "remarkable
state of preservation" and located in an extremely
remote area hidden at the bottom of a near-inaccessible
river canyon in dense jungle. They said it was "quite
something getting there". They began looking for
the site after a tip from a mule-handler.
The ruins include about 30 stone buildings which were
constructed around a central plaza. One building being
over 65 ft (20 m) long.
CHAIR, POSSIBLY SEEKING SEXUAL SATISFACTION,
SETS ITSELF ON FIRE
Australian firefighters have no idea why a 92-year-old
woman's rocking chair caught fire or why it was the
only item burnt in the fire at her home in Victoria.
The woman doesn't smoke or use candles and there were
no electrical appliances near the chair. The woman
was treated for smoke inhalation.
1,500-YEAR-OLD GLASS BOWL UNCOVERED
INTACT IN NEW FOREST*
Excavators at a New Forest Anglo-Saxon burial ground
have stumbled on a rare glass bowl that remained intact
for more than 1,500 years.
Archaeologists say the relic is in such good condition
because it has been hidden inside a wooden bucket in
the Hampshire forest. The bowl measures 5in across
and 1.5in high. The pale green bowl, dating from the
late fifth or early sixth century, was part of a grave
site that contained several skeletons and other trinkets,
including ornate buckles and spearheads.
WHY WE NEED UPDATES IN THIS I'LL
The world's next would-be space tourist, Lance Bass
of boy band 'N Sync, said Friday that leading Russian
space doctors had cleared him for a flight to the International
Space Station aboard a Russian rocket, a journey he
hopes to make this fall between tours.
If they can send one over-rated, annoying Boy Band
mannequin into space, why not all of them?
NEW ON THE SITE:
The new stuff up last newsletter (Bill Watson's Sky
Rods for example) and the few new Odd Pics (which are
on Odd Pics 2 now) that were not linked these last
weeks are working now. Not that I'm implying someone
didn't link them up to begin with. Like, oh, say someone
who is actually just starting college and taking programming
classes and was entrusted to upload about 33 hours
of my hard coding and graphic work. Said uploading
being a no-brainer task that would have taken all of
say, 7 minutes, while I attended to personal matters
of great import. And say, just for pretend, that when
questioned on the ability to be able to handle the
task at hand, knowing the uploaded content would be
the very stuff people would be wanting to look at,
specifically, because it would be on the front page
of the site with a big "NEW!" tag by it,
the College Boy incredulously and snippily retorted
that "even a ******* moron" could "put
some stuff up and check mail for 2 weeks" and
even mocked the person, let's pretend it was say -
me making the query - for being a "ball-busting
bitch". Just say, for instance. Not like that's
what HAPPENED; I'm just sayin'.
As an addendum, I will read my mail ASAP. It seems
they don't teach the "Open>Check New Mail>Read"
process in college, either. Ah, to be 17 again.
Jesen's letter of apology to me here http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Jesen.html
I told him if, with his great web skills, he can hack
the site and take it down before anyone reads this,
then he can take it down. It'll be there. Hahahah!
SCIENCE: A weird postcard from
early 20th century France celebrating X-Ray beach.........the
world's first computer (only two rooms).........and
of course, the naked chicken and an opinion 'quizlet'
to vote if you think the whole thing is 'sick' or 'science'.
ODD PICS: I broke the Odd Pics
page apart and Odd Pics 2. It was getting kind of long-ish
and long to load. Since it's my favorite section and
there's more on the way I figured I'd break it into
parts while it's early. Page One will load faster now
all new "adds" will be put on Odd
Pics 2 if you wants to update your bookmarks.
SO.....Up New - The creepy face mask that passed
for high tech plastic surgery back in 1908.......A
pic of a ghoslty deep-sea anglerfish ....An X-Ray of
a vibrator somewhere unmentionable....Antique Pen &
Ink drawings of some bats. Very bizarre looking bats,
and very cool drawings.
ARCHEOLOGY: the 1,500 year old
glass bowl mentioned above - the bubbles and flaws
in the glass are gorgeous ....A bad archeology joke
I know. You have to draw it and tell it, so I put it
up. And all for free! What a deal! :)
That's it for now....more much sooner~
thanks for reading and visiting!
Rahni <--- Your Botoxed Blonde Web-babe
<-- mail, mail about how I never read my mail, pics,
comments , nosy personal questions
www.anomalies-unlimited.com < -- just a hobby, honest
to unsubscribe or subscribe: Newsletter.html
You know how your mom used
to say, "It can't be everyone but you?!"
Yes it can.