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Runner-Up in the Pamela Anderson Install-A-Boob contest...Britney!
OK, look, I'm not obsessed..I just hate liars is all. I thought it was funny when Britney insisted she was still a Virgin, even though she had been living with her boyfriend for a long time. Or I'd read how she'd respond to accusations that she lip synchs her "Live" shows by saying she absolutely did not, even though she's been busted a few times dead to rights, even forgetting the words to her own damn songs while on stage and being taped singing the wrong ones. It's known fact that some do this.

But it got to be too much when when the Boob Job "Rumors" got denied, because this smacked of something that really affected people who maybe didn't quite grasp that it had deeper meanings - Britney's main fan base of 12-16 year old girls. And this career move wasn't lost on the public. Many an article and talk show asked the question - why would an influential role model for young girls who was all of 17 herself, be steered to get implants? The rise of anorexia, bulimia and depression in young girls has been linked to the ridiculous nonstop media images of what Desirable Perfect Beauty was supposed to be. The message being seen was - No matter how talented you might be or where it's taken you, you're still not "perfect" unless you have those Playboy Boobs and also are a Whore. To hell with modesty, self respect, self-possession - talent alone just won't be enough to get you noticed by MEN and isn't that what we're all here for, ladies? You're nothing unless you have piles and piles of men men men men men falling and drooling and lusting after you. Wasn't Britney, who had it all, happy with herself? Nah....there's hundreds of salaries to pay, was the bottom line. The Pop Teen Princess Thing doesn't carry over as a career shtick when you hit adulthood. That's what pissed me off. You ever have a kid say, "I'm ugly" and they're not? Or maybe a plain, not raving beauty but perfectly beautiful 13 year old say, "My nose is too big.....my hair is too flat..I'm too fat ....I'm not cute..". They all are perfectly beautiful. But this isn't what you see or hear from their Idols - it's not OK to be pudgy or flat or plain; people don't care if you can sing or draw or have a nice smile or are just nice and make other people feel nice, too. You have to have boobs, you have to be a slut. Sex = being wanted = attention = worth. Excuse me, but fuck that. These are kids here, and did I mention that anorexia and bulimia (and depression) is epidemic among young girls these days? And pretty much only a disease in the US, I might add? "Oh, I can look better if I wear my pants down to my pubic bone and act like a whore" probably isn't where most parents want their child's self image to go. But I bet you remember how you felt, going to school in 5th or 9th grade and being Not One of The Cool Kids and maybe dressing a little bit Not Trendy and all that peer pressure. So don't say it doesn't matter to a kid - it does.

I was at a 40 year old male neighbor's house when Britney was lipsy...I mean singing during the MTV special and doing her stripper pole-dance "skit". The point of which was obviously "How Shockingly Sexual I Am! And Don't Forget I'm Only 20!". Neighbor sat there making comments and HOO BOY would he like to <you know>. His 19-year old daughter was sitting there and blew up.
"Dad! How'd you like some guy twice my age talking about ME like that? If I dated a guy who was 40? If I dressed like that? You're having sexual thoughts about someone as old as ME!" It got real quiet :) He felt like a pig. He didn't think of it that quite that way.

And I haven't found too many people who saw Britney's Pole Dance who remember what song she was supposedly singing.
December, 1998
The cute ex-Mouseketeer
UP May, 1999 -
her publicist defends allegations that Britney had breast implants saying this is a "growth spurt", all this magically appeared courtesy Mother Nature in a mere 4 months. Even her peers decry the sick message behind getting a 17 year old breast implants, and articles are written about how bad this is for young girl's self image . This launches Britney's new career as ........
DOWN July, 1999
...the hard core, barely-legal Lolita Slut. The hilarious part is they're still trying to pawn her off as the sweet, down to Earth, innocent Virgin

UP Superbowl, Jan. 2001
We had a teacher in 5th grade who I think was 187 years old and had a chest like this. We used to call her "Aunt Bee" behind her back but she had 6 kids of her own so it was kind of udderstandable. I mean understandable.
She was certainly entitled and was a stout, heavy woman and we adored her.

I bet this poor thing is grimacing in pain...her back must be killing her!

DOWN Feb. 2001
A rare, anomalous reverse growth spurt

This is a scene from her movie "Crossroads", which was about a sweet, young girl who, by luck and talent, got her lucky break and turned into a famous pop star. Doesn't that sound kind of familiar? Only in the movie the Girl was wholesome and cute, so that was different. And they kind of were saying this was really the story of Britney, and this was really her, this young, sweet thing...meaning this is what they know is healthy and more appropriate to have her young audience flock to see, so they presented it. The film was no doubt shot before the Superbowl appearance. Even invoking the fine art of physics and little known Tata Theorem ((Mass) x (Tissue Area) x (Available Workable Boob x2)) , you just can't get a casserole out of 4 ounces of hamburger without some Hamburger Helper. If you get my meaning.

Uh..not sure
Sept, 2001
I wanna be Madonna
Well now where did they go?! Could the loud backlash from the moms of America have anything to do with the bit of toning down? Why do all these chicks have belly buttons the size of a golf divot?

I won't point out that she didn't have this "button" belly button in 1998-2000.

UP Oct, 2001- MTV Music Awards
Another growth spurt
. The lip synched sex strip show that was supposed to be..that could have been merely a presentation of one of her songs and her actually singing it. Feedback was mostly "Good porn show!" to "Over the top and totally inappropriate and enough already". It was made very sure the mostly naked Britney's sitting there beach balls bazooms were seen. All the pads, and duct tape in the Universe don't create what's below, from what's in the last photo.
The Old Tape Em Together Mash The
Sides With Your Upper Arms Trick

November, 2001
I remember listening to a local humor radio show around Halloween and cracking up as moms were calling in saying they really put their foot down that Halloween when their their 12 year old daughters wanted to be Britney. And how the young ladies they saw at their daughter's schools were emulating this 'dress', being walking kiddie-barely legal porn fantasies and not grasping how Not Good this was in Real Life. But Britney's management company has salaries to pay. And hey! Where'd that boot-like nose from September suddenly go?
UP Cover of the Rolling Stone
and of course the Girls were all you heard mentioned in the media. And jokes abound about Britney's actual career as a soft porn model, as disguised as a pop singer. It sold a lot of RS mags, which was the point.


November 2002
Britney and her new nose (did I say that out loud?)
Or is that Cortney Love?

Back to Odd Pics
Which brings up something else I wondered as I read about her and looked at photos..did she have a nose job, too?.. As synchronicity would have it, I stumbled on this site. by a guy who has a Pictorial History of her nose.
He's also got an extensive rant site about Britney and the other vapid, plastic Pop Mill $tars these days, the highlight of which I thought were dozens of pics from the PlanetHollywood Britney Look Alike Contest, with comments.
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