The following is an e-mail exchange between Phil and I over this photo he sent me. I've known Phil a few years, having met him on a Chemtrail mailing list. The list sucked so I left but continued to write to Phil who was nice enough to share a lot of his stuff with me. He also shares photos of his dog Molli who is a white poodle-ish thing. Very cute. (I'm of the personal opinion that "cute" little dogs should be put into a newly created Olympic category, the "Cute Little Dog Triathalon" which would include the 50-yard punt, the "How Fast Can You Scare Them And Make Them Piddle The Carpet" Event and the "Name that Neurosis" Relay). But I digress.
Phil sent this to me and I figured our email exchange will speak for itself. It's another mystery, and Phil's good at finding them.
presented for your perusal: Phil's Alien Bug
Thought you might be interested in this. Every once in a while you come across one of natures great handy works. I took this image from inside the picture window that it landed on. Imagine grabbing a foot hold on glass. Imagine looking like an old leaf. Wonder what it eats? So was it created or did it evolve. Nice job who ever gets the credit. Phil
Hi Phil. You're drinking too much Ensure again. I LOVE
bugs and don't recall seeing ANYthing like THAT. How big was it? Where's
the damn thing's HEAD? I cant even make out the PARTS of what's what on
it. I think you're thinking of leaf hoppers which are types of locusts
.. I'm sure you've seen em. There's some funky looking ones that even
have horns and are very cool. THIS thing looks like some plop of wet mud.
Maybe it was something a bird dropped? It was ALIVE? Get OUT. I can put
that up on the site..someone's bound to know what it is.
It was alive, I swear. It MOVED. Here's another pic I
took of it. I wonder who's doing what out there that this is what is out
OK. After careful manipulation of your pictures with every graphic and chemical analysis program I ripped off from my former place of employ, I think I know what kind of insect this is - it's a TURD. Know what kind of bug this is, Phil? The rare BIRD DOODY FALLING FROM THE SKY OUT OF A BIRD'S ASS bug. (If bird's do indeed have "asses". I mean, I think, technically, they're called "vents".)
WhyTheEff didn't you get a mayo jar or something
and catch the thing? Doesn't Geritol come in "8 Ounce Slams"
now? Like those "milk chugs"? Surely you have piles of those
laying around you could have grabbed. Shit, dude. Where's the thing's
HEAD? OK, ok, I'm yelling. I'm sorry. I pride myself on being the epitome
of Vulcan-like calmness and logic at all times, but really - last I heard
there hadn't been any nuclear holocaust out on the East Coast that'd start
mutations like this. How big was this thing? How long did you watch it
for? Did it fly away? Walk? Saunter? Sashay? Whistle for a taxi? Do you
heathens even have taxis out in the sticks of New Hampshire? Did it have
a jaw that shot out, dripping acidic spit? Was it trying to maybe watch
TV through your window to see if there had been any reports of the Invasion
on CNN yet? Where's the damn thing's HEAD?
You know, I might be old but I could still throttle you with my cane.
Here's what was what on the bug. I swear it was alive and was moving. It wasn't stuck ON there, it was SITTING on there. The TV was off. If it was trying to spy, it had a lousy disguise.
Ok. If I slept normal hours like normal people, I wouldn't
be up 3 days straight out of every 4 doing stuff like this. I put your
"Bug" back together.
(Please note sarcastic drippage of quotation marks around the word "bug". Like when you make them with your fingers in the air? Those kind).That aside, I think I figured this out.......
Assuming those hanging-thingies are/were legs, there's six of them so it'd technically be a "bug". I thought maybe a cicada because you can kind of make out those fat grasshopper-type legs but whatever meat was on the legs looks shredded off. Cicadas also have those huge, ball like eyes.. They are also very 'fat'. Cicadas are my favorite bug in the world so I know from Cicadas. The one thing that doesn't fit is your bug looks bendy and mushy and cicadas are hard and crunchy. (I don't feel like getting into how I know this right now.)
That led me back to my original, seemingly correct theory that this is a mutant radiation monster and there was a nuclear war of some type out there and you just don't know yet (I can only speak for Chicago but we sure as hell wouldn't know know you guys in New Hampshire were gone until we ran out of Maple Syrup out here. Oh wait, that's Vermont. Never mind.) As you said, it looks "alien"...and then ......it hit me! I have it!
You can clearly see a typical, standard red and yellow gas can, the kind any service station rents to people who run out of gas so they can take a few gallons back to where their car is and get it started. Well, I don't know how we missed this.
My thought is - They're about to invade. So they were
on their way to Vermont to first hit the Maple Syrup Supplies (I'm just
guessing) and ran out of gas. This one lost the "Paper, Scissors,
Stone" thing, 3-out-of-4, so was the one that had to go walk and
get the gas. THEN...and this makes it all perfectly clear --- THEN
he/she/it gets suddenly grabbed up
by a hawk or eagle looking for Dinner. The Raptor ripped it to hell in
the process of making it into Dinner then realized it was
some Weird Alien Bug, so went, "What the ****?!" (I bet Hawks
and Eagles use pottymouth language .. they just look the type) and so
dropped it, half alive, and it plopped on your window.
WHEW! I knew I'd get this, I just knew it!
I didn't go to college for nothin', you know.
My guess is if you go look outside that window on the ground you'll find that tiny gas can and a few scratch-off 'Quick Pick' Lotto tickets scattered like confetti on the grass that the Bug bought, too. What out of town visitor can resist that? (The bigger mystery now is how did it pay for the gas? Do they have intergalactic Credit Cards? If so we can get it traced and find out who they are? Maybe they have MASTERAlienRaceCARDS).So this is what I think. I'll put it up on the site and see if anyone can come up with a better explanation.
I should apply to be an FBI profiler and use this talent I have. Speaking of aliens ... you ever wonder why Michael Jackson's first two 'biological' kids are Whiter than I am?
Kisses and all that, Rahn
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